Lucy's Haircut (Darth Lucy)

For months, I've been saying I need to cut Lucy's hair. Poor thing, I've neither been brushing her nor taking her to the groomers. But really, there's a point at which her hair gets so matted, they'd charge me an arm and a leg to groom her. Plus they yell at me and make me feel like a terrible mother. I hate that. Enough with the guilt trip, man!

So it's up to me to trim her hair enough that a groomer could take over and only charge me, say, a finger and a toe. And when I say trim her hair, I mean approach her with scissors and great trepidation. She has this thing where she kind of freaks out and tries to bite you, then feels really guilty and gives you the old puppy dog eyes (what other kind, after all?) and sheepish look, wagging her tail to let you know she's not really a tazanian devil, just slightly psychotic.

And do you know how long it takes to trim an entire dog body with just scissors? When the dog isn't actually cooperative? And there are enormous hairmats to cut through in numerous places? Well, in truth, once I got my nerve up, it got done faster than I thought it would take. Oh, yes, and the M word. The last time I got her groomed, they told me that they were going to use a (whispers) muzzle. That psychotic-bitey-guilty thing, after all. With the M-word in place, I was able to work a lot faster, even though my pores were seeping guilt at confining her. And a practical matter: how do you cut the hair under the M-word?

So Lucy is currently sporting a helmet head worthy of Darth Vader. Jazz conveniently pointed that out to me. And her arms and legs kind of look like they've got biker leather fringe or something. It's actually a kind of cute look, if it had been on purpose.

And we ended up with such a huge pile of cut off hair, I feel like I have a whole second dog. I'd donate the proceeds to Locks of Love, if it weren't for those pesky mats in it. Plus the fact that it would be a little creepy sending them dog hair. I always like to think of myself as not very creepy. By the way, the thing hanging on the box o'hair? M-word.