Being Known, Being Loved

Some people have an eye for gift giving - or gift choosing, perhaps I should say. I am kind of gift giving challenged. Almost every year for me, it's the same old thing as Christmas approaches, racking my brain trying to think up interesting gifts to get for friends and family.

In the past few days, I've been given a couple of gifts that astounded me. Not because they were so fancy or costly or rare, but because my friends saw something that so reminded them of me, they were moved to get it and give it to me.

I had to miss the annual "girls' day out" with a small group of friends. They told me that they had missed me, and gave me a little present to demonstrate it. It was perfect - a little ornament in the shape of a front door with a wreath hung on it. It's just too cute! My friends know I have a thing for doors and windows, and have several door-like objet d'art hanging on my living room wall that this ornament matches perfectly.

Then last night another girlfriend and I exchanged gifts. Since she likes monkeys, I found another silly monkey-related present for her (a pair of slippers that look like sock monkeys, which she assures me are very comfy!). She gave me an object whose purpose was a mystery for a moment. It was a designed rack of some sort. My first guess was a plant rack, but it wasn't really the correct proportions.

It turned out to be a teacup rack that displays four cups and saucers. I was very moved because while she and her husband were browsing antique shops on vacation in August, she saw it and thought of me. She knows I have a number of old teacups that used to belong to my Mom. While the store had a number of antique teacups for sale, she knew that a more meaningful gift would be a way to display the cups from my Mom.

She also bought me a vintage glass Christmas ornament in the shape of Big Ben, because she knows I've been planning a trip to the UK (unfortunately delayed till the US$ gets a little healthier).

Now these three gifts are proudly set out on my living room table. My former pastor used to say that being known is important for us humans. Exchanging gifts with friends is fun, but much more meaningful than having the gifts is having friends whom I know and love, and who know me and love me. I feel very blessed this Christmas.

(To my special friends: you know who you are and that I love you!)

Drastic Changes

I hate playing around with my hair. That's basically the reason I grew it so long. Of course, once it got growing, it got to be a little contest with self to see just how long I was willing to let it go.

A couple of years ago when I cut a considerable length off of it, I was able to donate it to Locks of Love. However, I only had 6 inches, instead of the preferred 10 inches. That's okay, they Locks of Love can sell it 'to offset costs', as they say. But this time around, I wanted to give enough hair to make a wig.

So yesterday, my favorite hairdresser, Olivia, put my hair into a bunch of smaller ponytails - after asking me about sixteen times if I really wanted to cut that much off - and made my head several pounds lighter. (It will be interesting to see if it makes any difference in frequency of headaches.)

Even though I've been through this once before, fairly recently, I was still surprised at just how much hair that made, when gathered all together. I've been told I've got a lot of hair, but blonde hair tends to be smaller in circumference than other colors, so it appears thinner... not true here.

We ended up with a big hunk of ponytail about as big around as my wrist.

Here are some of the fun residuals. I posted the photo of me and Olivia on my Facebook page, and have gotten a bunch of comments on it. One of my friends said that she'd done the exact same thing yesterday. If I'm reading her comment right, my appointment was at 1:00, and hers was at 2:00! I wonder if she went to the same shop...

Is there such a thing as too much time spent online??

Okay, I realize that I am not an active person (coughunderstatementcough). That part I get: sitting all the time means that you're not getting enough exercise, no matter why you're sitting. You could be reading, writing, crafting, solving world peace, or stalking connecting with people on Facebook.

But really, I love connecting with people! And I think it's a really cool thing that these friends whom I haven't seen or had real contact in decades, I can communicate with them, let them know they're in my thoughts, know a little bit about their lives, their families, their sorrows, their joys.

(And send them oh-so-thoughtful-and-free cyber gifts from time to time, like an egg that hatches into a little puppy, f'rinstance.)

Oh the joy I feel when the little notification turns out to be a friend request - especially from someone who really is an old friend, not just some passing acquaintance through work or some other network.

"Will you be my friend?"
"You want me to be your friend?? Yes! Yes! Of course we are friends!!"

But if you talk about Facebook, people think that's the only thing you're doing, regardless if half your online time is spent doing all your shopping, correspondence, flickring and blogging.

I've been told (by good friends, actually) that I really need to get a life.

Hmmm. While that might be a valid observation, even if a cruelly delivered one, I still maintain that spending time virtually connecting with people is valuable, particularly when it's not possible to connect with them in person.

That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

Sick of sick, sick of alone

For the past four and a half days, I've been cooped up in my condo, only venturing out when I can force myself to take the dog out. She, meanwhile, has been loving having me home, and has been cuddling up to her sick mom quite nicely most of the time.

It's amazing, though, that even though I'm stuck here, I don't exactly feel disconnected. I've been more or less living on Facebook, not only trying to beat high scores on Tetris, but checking out what friends are posting, looking at pictures, commenting on friends' pages.

The outside world seemed pretty close two days ago, when looking out the window, I noticed a dog walker friend walking with a police officer, quite purposefully. As they approached the corner, a few squad cars and unmarked cars pulled up. The focus of everyone's attention was a distraught looking woman, hands gripping a handkerchief as she spoke to them, my friend obviously trying to comfort her. I'll have to wait until she and I bump paths walking our dogs to find out the story on that one...

I also received a text message from a dear college friend, telling me that she and other members of her family had just sung her father into the next life. I called her immediately, but of course, there is nothing real to say beyond 'sorry'. Her father was a pastor; they know his salvation is sure. They knew the end was upon them. Doesn't really help. Prolonged or sudden, it's never easy.

Yesterday was also a day for family contacts. I played a little game on the FB sites of some nieces and nephews, then got email news about my sister's knee surgery, and pictures of another sister's grandson. Chatting back and forth, sharing little bits of each other's lives, it makes us seem so much closer.

I received phone calls from both of my bosses - one preparing some work for next week; the other had a recap of what I'd missed and plans for two weeks hence.

Then later last night, another email from church, regarding songs for this coming Sunday. I'd also had contact with my pastor in previous days concerning the Thanksgiving Eve joint service with our Hispanic sister congregation.

And of course, almost every day, my son has been around for part or most of the day.

So why do I feel so cut off?

It's that human touch, that face-to-face factor that's so important. There are times when I do just want to be alone, but if I go for extended periods without some serious human interaction, my extroverted spirit gets restless, lonely.

We read a The History of Love for book club, and one of the main characters was a slightly crazy old man who lived by himself. He would do odd things now and then to make sure that people saw him, noticed him - like dropping all his change on the floor as he was buying something at the convenience store. He'd get food delivered to his house so that he'd know at least one person had seem him that day.

So yes, I did in fact just order in pizza even though I've got a fridge full of food. I'm sick of being sick, and I'm sick of being alone, and I'm sick of being cooped up. Three seconds with the pizza man isn't exactly my idea of high quality discussion time, but at least I'll know someone else has seen me today!


ED: Well, pardon me for whinging a little... it's nice that the cold finally made it's way out of my system (only after 2 and a half weeks), and I seem to be left with the obligatory runny nose and cough that are more or less constant companions during the winter in Chicago.

Behind the Scenes Obama

Browsing through my Facebook friends' updates, I was intrigued to see where my friend Shaun King had posted a link to Barack Obama's Flickr page.

Get out! Barack does Flickr!?

Yes he can, and yes he does have a Flickr page, where there are photos taken at the Hyatt on Tuesday night, photos of him and Michelle voting, of him playing basketball on Tuesday afternoon, and tons more (more than 50,000 photos, in fact!).

(Both of these photos are credited David Katz/Obama for America)

In fact, his account goes back to Feb 2007 when he announced his candidacy in Springfield. Yep, this is one more reason why I like this guy. He's sending out text messages and emails to everyone who signed up on www.barackobama.com, and he's also photo-chronicled his campaign and put it out there for anyone to see (and comment on). He functions in the digital age.

One friend who went to Grant Park on Tuesday night said that one of his major impressions of the evening was all the digital devices present. Everyone who was there had a camera, a cell phone, a video recorder, some kind of device to record the proceedings. One of my favorite images I saw from that night is a shot of the distant stage, with many arms raised in the foreground, all holding cameras or cell phones! As one flickr comment read, "We're all press now."
(ED. Since posting this, I've revisited his page, and the election night photos have been pushed back to page 45 by much less interesting photos of his and Michelle's visits to NV.)

Us and Them

Us and them.

I think that maybe the majority of people do tend to think in terms of 'themselves' (and their people, or people just like them) and 'others', unless they have made a conscious effort not to.

This is fostered in us from an early age. Take our love of team sports, our faithfulness to our schools. Our national pride. But it translates to state-vs-state rivalry, to genders, to political parties, to races...

It's been a number of years now since I saw the movie "Bowling for Columbine", but the part that always stuck with me was the cartoon section (A Brief History of America), where they talk about fear and guns going hand in hand. That cartoon section highlights the tendency to separate into groups of us and them.

Probably since prehistoric times, the 'us vs them' mentality has been a means of survival, one tribe versus another, one country versus another. Ignorance of who 'they' are, what 'they' are like, translated into fear and hatred of 'them'.

But ignorance CAN be conquered.

Minds CAN change. People can change. Who we are now does not have to limit who we can become.

Twelve years ago, my church called a female to be our pastor. In a survey beforehand, only one person checked 'female' when asked whether they preferred a male or female pastor. One. But a woman candidated at the church and absolutely blew us away. We realized that God had led her to us, so we called her. And after a short time, maybe a few months, basically everyone wondered why they had said they'd prefer a male. It was simply the unknown that they were afraid of. It was like a switch was turned in their minds, saying, "this is okay. better than okay. this is GOOD."

I realize that the opposition toward women in ministry is significantly different than racial prejudices, even though both run deep. It's not a perfect comparison. I don't have a lot of hope for the hardcore haters. But I do think that lots of people who are unsure about the efficacy of any person of color in the presidency, whatever their reasoning, who will be able to realize the unfounded nature of their fears, once they are continuing to live their lives as usual under his presidency.

I have been overflowing with excitement for what I hope President-elect Obama's administration will do to turn that switch in lots of people's minds that it IS possible for people of color to have authority, to have power. And it will be a GOOD thing, not something to fear, hate, or a cause of suspicion.

There's so much "us-and-themming" going around, whether you're talking race, politics, religion, gender... I really liked what he said in his acceptance speech, about no red states and no blue states, just united states.

But a long time ago another public speech was given, which said that there is no more us and them. We are all one.

Still gazing in wonder.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered, He's Ours!

I'm still too overwhelmed (and tired!) to speak coherently on my excitement and wonder in the knowledge that Barack Obama is our president elect. As usual, songs do it best for me, and the words of Sam Cooke have been playing through my brain for the last couple of days.

It's been a long, a long time coming, but I know a change gonna come. Oh, yes it will. (Sam Cooke)

I'm proud of our country. Oh, yes I am.

Obama and Prosper

...more evidence that Obama is the intelligent choice!!

(although when he talks about CHANGE we can believe in, I don't think this is what he has in mind!)

Women's Right to Vote

Yes, I realize I've posted this photo of my grandmother before. I've got it up again because today, Sunday, November 2, celebrates two anniversaries. It is my grandparents' (88th!) wedding anniversary. They were married in 1920.

November 2, 1920 is also the anniversary of the first time women in the United States voted. The Nineteenth Amendment to the Constitution was passed August 26th, giving the right to vote to women. The first election this affected was two months later, when Warren G Harding won by a landslide, replacing the by-then unpopular Woodrow Wilson.

Some other interesting dates in US voting history:

February 3, 1870: 15th Amendment passed:

The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.

August 18, 1920: 19th Amendment passed:

The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.

August 6, 1965: Voting Rights Act passed.
The Constitution alone apparently not enough to guarantee all citizens the right to vote, this act was passed to outlaw discriminatory practices which prevented many people of color from voting. The odd thing about this, though, is that it is not permanent - it has to get re-ratified every 25 years. The last time it was renewed was July 27, 2006, when G W Bush signed a 25 year extension.

July 1, 1971: 26th Amendment passed: lowered the US voting age to 18.

The right of citizens of the United States, who are eighteen years of age or older, to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of age.

November 4, 2008: The first time a person of color is elected as President of the United States. Okay, so it's positive thinking. See me about it in two days!

In the meantime, my women friends (and men friends, for that matter), if you haven't voted early for the historic election, GET OUT AND VOTE on Tuesday. Women suffered and even died so that we would have this privilege; let's honor their sacrifice, do our civic responsibility, take advantage of our ability to participate in our government.

Piece of the Past

Last year, after Mom died, my siblings and I went through my parents' home, dividing and distributing many of their possessions - Mom's jewelry, framed art, old photos, etc.

One of my sisters went through the strong box Dad used to keep under the bed. She found a couple of Dad's old wallets. Dad had only been in the nursing home under a year at this point, so my sister was surprised to see slips of paper that looked old - years, even decades old.

One of the documents was a 50 year old receipt. Only for a small amount, less than $2.00, I think. But Dad had held onto this particular receipt from when they had lived in Texas. It was for the poll tax. That small amount of money he paid in order to cast his vote. That tax, that for years was used to erect one more barrier for people of color to be able to participate fully in our country's democratic system.

Here's an example of a poll tax receipt - I don't have a copy of my Dad's. This one is also from Texas, a few years after my family had moved back north.


We were somewhat astonished that Dad had kept this little piece of history, and proud of him that he had recognized it for what it was.

On Tuesday, I'm going to the polls to cast my vote. I won't have to take a made up 'citizenship quiz'; I won't be threatened and bullied; I won't have to pay a tax. I'll just go in and vote.

And like many other of my fellow Americans, I will be proud and excited to cast my vote for president, for the first time in US history, for a person of color. For free. For free.

The Democratic Process

Can a cynic also be an idealist? I think so.

I still get inspired listening to audio of JFK's speeches, even though we all found out years after his death what a womanizer he was. Same goes for Clinton, although the reveal came much sooner! I believe even as good and Christian as Jimmy Carter was painted, he had to be just a little bit crooked or compromised to make it all the way to the Oval Office.

I think there's good and evil in most of us. The proportions might be different, and some of us might hide the evil (or the good) better than others.

All this to explain why we see so many examples of people spewing ignorance and hate. Videos show rampant name calling, rumor spreading, and lying at political rallies. Internet searches for political posters for my candidate yielded anti-propaganda results that are disgusting and immoral, not to mention untrue. I'm almost afraid to read articles or view videos anymore because it's so nauseating to witness the naked hate expressed by women, men and even children. (I could link to examples, but won't because they were just so offensive.)

I know my candidate is not perfect. Neither is the other candidate. Both of them have good and evil inside them, because they are human.

In the midst of all this negativity and cynicism about our country and our fallen nature, I still hold on to (cling to, even) the following ideals:
* my vote matters
* there is hope for this country
* things can get better
* we can unite to help bring about change

I'm going to vote first thing next Tuesday, and stay up late waiting for the returns to come in. If my candidate wins, I'm sure tears will be shed. (Probably the same would be true if the other candidate were to win, God forbid!)

God Bless America. God bless our democratic process.

Venice, Day 4

Three words: Siesta. Key. Beach. Rated the #3 most beautiful beach in the United States for 2008.

Just south of Sarasota, it's home to sugar sand, which is incredibly white, soft, and doesn't get hot in the sun, so it's lovely to walk on.

We spent two lovely hours there, enjoying the breezy day, watching the pelicans and gulls nosedive into the surf for fish.

People watching was also good - we saw people building sand castles, flying kites, swimming, fishing (and throwing lots of fish back, causing a small feeding frenzy among the gulls), parasailing, and just generally enjoying themselves.

On the way home, we stopped off (of course) at Nokomis Groves for more citrus ice cream. I had another orange / vanilla; my friend tried the orange / pineapple. (Both received top marks!)

I decided it would be fun to take a walk in the actual groves, to see the fruit trees up close. It was cool until my foot started stinging from dozens of teeny tiny ants biting me furiously!

Meanwhile, I did get in a shot of the melon-sized grapefruits. (ED. Found out the next day that this particular species is called Chinese grapefruit, they're really meaty, and delicious!)


Once it was approaching dusk, we headed out again, this time to the Venice Audobon Center Bird Sanctuary to watch the birds come home to roost for the night. I'm coveting a nicer camera about now, one with better zoom, better color filtering, and ability to take photos at dusk.


This one blurry shot was actually quite interesting - a couple of egrets seemed to have a disagreement over a certain branch...

There were tons of egrets, blue heron, anhingas and some others I couldn't name. We got some lovely close shots of one great blue heron who really liked a nearby tree. He didn't seem to mind as we snapped photo after photo.

Home again, we're trying to bunk down at a decent time, to get ready for another full day tomorrow!

Laying in the sun is exhausting! (Venice Day 3)

Tonight my friend and I are two tired vacationers! We are all worn out from... erm, sitting in the sun at the beach. Oh, yes, we floated in the waves, too! And we ate ice cream.

But first things first. On the advice of my sister, we ate at a wonderful and charming Mexican restaurant in Venice called Mi Pueblo. Our food (chiles rellenos for me, tacos de camarones for her) was delicious, but the ambiance was what made it a very lovely experience. The building is kind of mission style architecture, and shares a quaint courtyard complete with fountain with several other businesses. Inside, murals on the wall framed with brick, warm colors, lots of plants, interesting lighting fixtures all make you wonder if you didn't step across the threshold into Mexico. Thanks, sis!

After lunch, we headed out to Venice's Casperson Beach - the Sharks' Tooth Capital of the WORLD! We followed the time honored tradition of vacationers (and locals, for that matter), and walked around bent at the waist, peering intently at the sand, in search of prehistoric teeth from prehistoric sharks.

We were honored for our search, as our reward is pictured here. 26 teeth, from teeny-tiny to larger than my own teeth, was our total haul. Not bad, actually, considering we spent way more time sunning and swimming than searching. It does get addicting, though. Once you're on a streak of finding teeth, you can't bring yourself to go. Like playing slots or drinking, you keep thinking "just one more, I'm sure the next one will be a big one, let me find just one more tooth." (Maybe if I go back real early tomorrow, ...)

Floating around in the Gulf of Mexico, letting the waves lift me up and bring me back down again, is very relaxing, yet somehow draining. Must be all the sun. It sure did feel good just bobbing about (like a cork on the wave, to quote a former ECC president). I did wonder just a tiny bit about the sharks whose teeth will wash up in ten thousand years or so, and whether they might be bobbing around in the currents like I was...

Back on land, we cleaned up and headed back out in search of treasure of a different kind: Nokomis Groves homemade citrus ice creams! (On the left is lime & chocolate; on the right is orange & vanilla.) This place is fabulous. It doesn't look like much, but their ice cream, made from oranges, lemons, limes, and pineapples, not to mention chocolate and vanilla. Their main store is closed for the season, but they keep the ice cream stand part open all year round. Lucky for us!

A visit to Nokomis Groves has become a tradition in my family, often one we take seriously enough to observe more than once during our visits here! (I think we're going back tomorrow - market research, you see, to find if orange/pineapple is better than lime/chocolate.)

On our way home, we had intended to shop for new swimsuits, but alas, the lycra gods were not in a flattering mood today. We did each end up with groovy new beach footwear, however - mine are pictured.

Home again in time to watch a DVD before heading off to bed. It's been a long day.

Venice, Day 2

Today was filled with Myakka River State Park and a visit to the South Jetty here in Venice.

Now I'd been to Myakka several times with Mom and Dad on previous visits, but had only ever taken the boat ride on the chuck-full-o-gators Myakka Lake and the tram ride.

Today, we started by going on the nature walk through partially swampy ground - walkways kept us out of the muckier parts - to the Canopy Walkway.

First you climb the 'short' tower to the swinging bridge, 25 feet off the ground. Then you climb the 74 foot tower, and get an eyeful of beautiful country.

My friend had to talk me up, since I'm so scared of heights. I hung back on the next to the highest level for at least 10 minutes before I had the nerve to go all the way up to the top.

We saw an amazing array of birds: hawks, vultures, cranes, egrets, herons - nesting, flying, screeching, whirling. It was pretty awesome.

Back on the ground, we went back to the lake. Too late to take the boat ride, we found out that today wasn't a good gator-viewing day, so we weren't too disappointed.

Right alongside the boat, we got a bit of a treat. One of the rarer birds in the park, the Limpkin was wading around looking for food, so we got a nice close look.

From there, we went over to the little dam, where we were about as close to a gator as you can get and keep all your body parts intact.

After brats and floats, we decided to go over to the Birdwalk, which extends a ways out into the swampy land, almost to the lake, and saw lots more birds and lots more beautiful lake.

By the time we were heading back to Venice, it was getting later, so we decided to go straight to the South Jetty to see if we could spot any dolphins as the tide was coming in.

In all the many times I've been out dolphin watching on the Jetty, I've never seen as many at once, and as playful a bunch of dolphins as today.

They weren't just breaching and swimming around; they were blowing, jumping a little bit and coming down with a big splash; they were slapping the surface of the water with their tails. It was really fun!

Trying to take pictures got a little hard, because there so many off in several directions.

While we were there, we saw two bridal couples taking wedding shots, and what was probably an engaged couple getting their photos taken, too.

We were there for almost two and a half hours, just watching people, dolphins, waves, and the sunset.

All in all, a great day spent in the beauty of West Central Florida!

We have arrived! (Venice, Day 1)

Hooray! After months of thinking we were coming to Florida in October, agonizing over what dates to select, only to have a false alarm thinking that my boss didn't want me to take this particular week off, we have arrived in the land of sunshine!

We landed in Tampa yesterday around noon, and took advantage of our proximity to Clearwater to visit the attractions there before heading south to Venice. While we weren't able to visit the US's number one rated beach at Caladesi State Park because of the ferry hours, we did check out Honeymoon Island State Park (so named for honeymoon bungalows built there in the 30s).

What a pleasant surprise! We walked along the Osprey Nature Path. We did see one osprey flying away from us, and a couple of giant nests up high in the trees. Our walk was hurried along by the carniverous noseeums, unfortunately.

Escaping the bugs, we took a walk along the beach and cooled off in the waves a bit. Then we drove down and visited the ferry landing, where we saw lots of water birds and jumping fish. This really is a beautiful area, and we may be back to visit the beach when we leave.

At my folks' house now, I wonder if I'll ever be able or want to retire down here. The pace of life is slower, that's for sure. But there are lots of things to do - it's not like the streets roll up at night.

Of course, there are the hurricanes to consider...

One more reason to love 7-Eleven

Here's yet another reason to love 7-Eleven.

You can go in for a tasty cup of Joe (can I call ya Joe?), and come out supporting your candidate for President!

There's an arrow pointing to the UPC symbol that says "this is how we count your vote!" And you can see how the candidates are doing, by checking 7-Election.com.

They have an online political java-map, which is looking encouragingly blue these days. You can also read results of 7-Election 2004, which came out eerily similar to the national results!

Yes, I do love my 7-Eleven and my Obama coffee cup. I just wish they had it in the 24 oz. size!

(ED. 3 days before the election, and it seems like all area 7-Elevens are out of the blue cups! Gobama!!)

Political Junkies Unite!

I've found a great website for polling results. Every day their US map is updated with whatever polls have been conducted. One of their links has an animated history of how the polls place our candidates, beginning with June 2, 2008.

	Strong Obama
	Weak Obama
	Barely Obama
	Exactly tied
	Barely McCain
	Weak McCain
	Strong McCain
	Needed to win: 270