Sick of sick, sick of alone

For the past four and a half days, I've been cooped up in my condo, only venturing out when I can force myself to take the dog out. She, meanwhile, has been loving having me home, and has been cuddling up to her sick mom quite nicely most of the time.

It's amazing, though, that even though I'm stuck here, I don't exactly feel disconnected. I've been more or less living on Facebook, not only trying to beat high scores on Tetris, but checking out what friends are posting, looking at pictures, commenting on friends' pages.

The outside world seemed pretty close two days ago, when looking out the window, I noticed a dog walker friend walking with a police officer, quite purposefully. As they approached the corner, a few squad cars and unmarked cars pulled up. The focus of everyone's attention was a distraught looking woman, hands gripping a handkerchief as she spoke to them, my friend obviously trying to comfort her. I'll have to wait until she and I bump paths walking our dogs to find out the story on that one...

I also received a text message from a dear college friend, telling me that she and other members of her family had just sung her father into the next life. I called her immediately, but of course, there is nothing real to say beyond 'sorry'. Her father was a pastor; they know his salvation is sure. They knew the end was upon them. Doesn't really help. Prolonged or sudden, it's never easy.

Yesterday was also a day for family contacts. I played a little game on the FB sites of some nieces and nephews, then got email news about my sister's knee surgery, and pictures of another sister's grandson. Chatting back and forth, sharing little bits of each other's lives, it makes us seem so much closer.

I received phone calls from both of my bosses - one preparing some work for next week; the other had a recap of what I'd missed and plans for two weeks hence.

Then later last night, another email from church, regarding songs for this coming Sunday. I'd also had contact with my pastor in previous days concerning the Thanksgiving Eve joint service with our Hispanic sister congregation.

And of course, almost every day, my son has been around for part or most of the day.

So why do I feel so cut off?

It's that human touch, that face-to-face factor that's so important. There are times when I do just want to be alone, but if I go for extended periods without some serious human interaction, my extroverted spirit gets restless, lonely.

We read a The History of Love for book club, and one of the main characters was a slightly crazy old man who lived by himself. He would do odd things now and then to make sure that people saw him, noticed him - like dropping all his change on the floor as he was buying something at the convenience store. He'd get food delivered to his house so that he'd know at least one person had seem him that day.

So yes, I did in fact just order in pizza even though I've got a fridge full of food. I'm sick of being sick, and I'm sick of being alone, and I'm sick of being cooped up. Three seconds with the pizza man isn't exactly my idea of high quality discussion time, but at least I'll know someone else has seen me today!


ED: Well, pardon me for whinging a little... it's nice that the cold finally made it's way out of my system (only after 2 and a half weeks), and I seem to be left with the obligatory runny nose and cough that are more or less constant companions during the winter in Chicago.

Behind the Scenes Obama

Browsing through my Facebook friends' updates, I was intrigued to see where my friend Shaun King had posted a link to Barack Obama's Flickr page.

Get out! Barack does Flickr!?

Yes he can, and yes he does have a Flickr page, where there are photos taken at the Hyatt on Tuesday night, photos of him and Michelle voting, of him playing basketball on Tuesday afternoon, and tons more (more than 50,000 photos, in fact!).

(Both of these photos are credited David Katz/Obama for America)

In fact, his account goes back to Feb 2007 when he announced his candidacy in Springfield. Yep, this is one more reason why I like this guy. He's sending out text messages and emails to everyone who signed up on www.barackobama.com, and he's also photo-chronicled his campaign and put it out there for anyone to see (and comment on). He functions in the digital age.

One friend who went to Grant Park on Tuesday night said that one of his major impressions of the evening was all the digital devices present. Everyone who was there had a camera, a cell phone, a video recorder, some kind of device to record the proceedings. One of my favorite images I saw from that night is a shot of the distant stage, with many arms raised in the foreground, all holding cameras or cell phones! As one flickr comment read, "We're all press now."
(ED. Since posting this, I've revisited his page, and the election night photos have been pushed back to page 45 by much less interesting photos of his and Michelle's visits to NV.)

Us and Them

Us and them.

I think that maybe the majority of people do tend to think in terms of 'themselves' (and their people, or people just like them) and 'others', unless they have made a conscious effort not to.

This is fostered in us from an early age. Take our love of team sports, our faithfulness to our schools. Our national pride. But it translates to state-vs-state rivalry, to genders, to political parties, to races...

It's been a number of years now since I saw the movie "Bowling for Columbine", but the part that always stuck with me was the cartoon section (A Brief History of America), where they talk about fear and guns going hand in hand. That cartoon section highlights the tendency to separate into groups of us and them.

Probably since prehistoric times, the 'us vs them' mentality has been a means of survival, one tribe versus another, one country versus another. Ignorance of who 'they' are, what 'they' are like, translated into fear and hatred of 'them'.

But ignorance CAN be conquered.

Minds CAN change. People can change. Who we are now does not have to limit who we can become.

Twelve years ago, my church called a female to be our pastor. In a survey beforehand, only one person checked 'female' when asked whether they preferred a male or female pastor. One. But a woman candidated at the church and absolutely blew us away. We realized that God had led her to us, so we called her. And after a short time, maybe a few months, basically everyone wondered why they had said they'd prefer a male. It was simply the unknown that they were afraid of. It was like a switch was turned in their minds, saying, "this is okay. better than okay. this is GOOD."

I realize that the opposition toward women in ministry is significantly different than racial prejudices, even though both run deep. It's not a perfect comparison. I don't have a lot of hope for the hardcore haters. But I do think that lots of people who are unsure about the efficacy of any person of color in the presidency, whatever their reasoning, who will be able to realize the unfounded nature of their fears, once they are continuing to live their lives as usual under his presidency.

I have been overflowing with excitement for what I hope President-elect Obama's administration will do to turn that switch in lots of people's minds that it IS possible for people of color to have authority, to have power. And it will be a GOOD thing, not something to fear, hate, or a cause of suspicion.

There's so much "us-and-themming" going around, whether you're talking race, politics, religion, gender... I really liked what he said in his acceptance speech, about no red states and no blue states, just united states.

But a long time ago another public speech was given, which said that there is no more us and them. We are all one.

Still gazing in wonder.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered, He's Ours!

I'm still too overwhelmed (and tired!) to speak coherently on my excitement and wonder in the knowledge that Barack Obama is our president elect. As usual, songs do it best for me, and the words of Sam Cooke have been playing through my brain for the last couple of days.

It's been a long, a long time coming, but I know a change gonna come. Oh, yes it will. (Sam Cooke)

I'm proud of our country. Oh, yes I am.

Obama and Prosper

...more evidence that Obama is the intelligent choice!!

(although when he talks about CHANGE we can believe in, I don't think this is what he has in mind!)

Women's Right to Vote

Yes, I realize I've posted this photo of my grandmother before. I've got it up again because today, Sunday, November 2, celebrates two anniversaries. It is my grandparents' (88th!) wedding anniversary. They were married in 1920.

November 2, 1920 is also the anniversary of the first time women in the United States voted. The Nineteenth Amendment to the Constitution was passed August 26th, giving the right to vote to women. The first election this affected was two months later, when Warren G Harding won by a landslide, replacing the by-then unpopular Woodrow Wilson.

Some other interesting dates in US voting history:

February 3, 1870: 15th Amendment passed:

The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.

August 18, 1920: 19th Amendment passed:

The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.

August 6, 1965: Voting Rights Act passed.
The Constitution alone apparently not enough to guarantee all citizens the right to vote, this act was passed to outlaw discriminatory practices which prevented many people of color from voting. The odd thing about this, though, is that it is not permanent - it has to get re-ratified every 25 years. The last time it was renewed was July 27, 2006, when G W Bush signed a 25 year extension.

July 1, 1971: 26th Amendment passed: lowered the US voting age to 18.

The right of citizens of the United States, who are eighteen years of age or older, to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of age.

November 4, 2008: The first time a person of color is elected as President of the United States. Okay, so it's positive thinking. See me about it in two days!

In the meantime, my women friends (and men friends, for that matter), if you haven't voted early for the historic election, GET OUT AND VOTE on Tuesday. Women suffered and even died so that we would have this privilege; let's honor their sacrifice, do our civic responsibility, take advantage of our ability to participate in our government.

Piece of the Past

Last year, after Mom died, my siblings and I went through my parents' home, dividing and distributing many of their possessions - Mom's jewelry, framed art, old photos, etc.

One of my sisters went through the strong box Dad used to keep under the bed. She found a couple of Dad's old wallets. Dad had only been in the nursing home under a year at this point, so my sister was surprised to see slips of paper that looked old - years, even decades old.

One of the documents was a 50 year old receipt. Only for a small amount, less than $2.00, I think. But Dad had held onto this particular receipt from when they had lived in Texas. It was for the poll tax. That small amount of money he paid in order to cast his vote. That tax, that for years was used to erect one more barrier for people of color to be able to participate fully in our country's democratic system.

Here's an example of a poll tax receipt - I don't have a copy of my Dad's. This one is also from Texas, a few years after my family had moved back north.


We were somewhat astonished that Dad had kept this little piece of history, and proud of him that he had recognized it for what it was.

On Tuesday, I'm going to the polls to cast my vote. I won't have to take a made up 'citizenship quiz'; I won't be threatened and bullied; I won't have to pay a tax. I'll just go in and vote.

And like many other of my fellow Americans, I will be proud and excited to cast my vote for president, for the first time in US history, for a person of color. For free. For free.