Year of the Rat

It was Chinese New Year a week ago. This is the year of the Rat, also known as Wu Zi (woozy?).

I'm a rat. At least, according to Chinese astrology. As a kid, going to a Chinese restaurant was fun, until we started examining our printed paper placemats. I would be reminded that I was born in the year of the rat. Now, wikipedia lists all kinds of nice and complimentary things about rat people, which is all well and good. But come on, a rat???

...... Being the first sign of the Chinese zodiac, rats are leaders, pioneers and conquerors. They are charming, passionate, charismatic, practical and hardworking (sounds good, can you just change the animal? maybe a puppy?). Rat people are endowed with great leadership skills and are the most highly organized, meticulous, and systematic of the twelve signs. Intelligent and cunning at the same time, rats are highly ambitious and strong-willed people who are keen and unapologetic promoters of their own agendas, which often include money and power. They are energetic and versatile and can usually find their way around obstacles, and adapt to various environments easily. A rat's natural charm and sharp demeanor (oh, yeah, that's me!) make it an appealing friend for almost anyone, but rats are usually highly exclusive and selective when choosing friends and so often have only a few very close friends whom they trust.
...... Behind the smiles and charm, rats can be terribly obstinate and controlling, insisting on having things their way no matter what the cost. Rats are masters of mind games and can be very dangerous, calculative and downright cruel if the need arises. Quick-tempered and aggressive, they will not think twice about exacting revenge on those that hurt them in any way. (um, er...) Rats need to learn to relax sometimes, as they can be quite obsessed with detail, intolerant and strict, demanding order, obedience, and perfection.
...... Rats are fair in their dealings and expect the same from others in return, and can be deeply affronted if they feel they have been deceived or that their trust has been abused (really now, who wouldn't?). Sometimes they set their targets too high, whether in relation to their friends or in their career. But as the years pass, they will become more idealistic and tolerant. If they can develop their sense of self and realize it leaves room for others in their life as well, Rats can find true happiness.
...... Traditionally, Rats should avoid Horses (well, I did fall off a horse once), but they can usually find their best friends and love interests in Rabbits (please, no rabbits!), Monkeys, Dragons, and Oxen.
...... Professions include espionage, psychiatry, psychology, writing, politics, law, engineering, accounting, detective work, acting, and pathology (hmmm... no mention of secretarial work).

Oh well, at least I can call my son a Rat and get away with it - he's one, too!